When You Are 30 or More and Dating
Relationship Help

When You Are 30 or More and Dating

When you were younger, dating seemed easy, and it seemed to run so smooth. If you liked someone and they liked you back, you would just date. When you got older though, dating seemed to be harder.

Is Dating in Your 30’s Harder Than When You Were Younger?

Some things about dating when you are older are harder such as the fact that you have a harder time meeting people than you did when you were at school. You aren’t probably going to as many parties where you don’t know people, and these are the places where it is often easier to meet people. Also, your friends are more than likely already married and so they don’t have as many single friends.

It can be harder to find someone in your 30’s and chances are that you have already been in many failed relationships at this time. So, when you come across other people that are single, chances are they have trust issues because of the past and the times that they have been betrayed by their partner.

Why Dating in the 30’s Can Be Better

There are great reasons to wait though to date when you are older. You have learned many lessons on your failed relationships, and you now know what you need and what you are looking for when you date someone.

It might not be as easy to date someone but instead of liking someone, you can find out what qualities that they have that you will use to your own advantage.

Advice for Dating in Your 30’s

Here is some great advice if you choose to wait and date later in life:

Know Yourself

The best thing to do is to get to know who you are. The worse thing that you can do is start dating someone and not have a clue who you are or what you want. When you date someone and you have no clue, you allow others to treat you badly. Know who you are and what you want so you can find the perfect person for you.


Do not depend on a timeline. You may not get married or have children when you thought that you would but don’t make decisions based on a timeline.

Let go of the ideas that others have about when you should do this or that and just find someone that can make you happy. Don’t be under pressure and take things slow. You are never too late no matter what age you are when you start dating.


Even if you are in your 30’s, it doesn’t mean that you have a lot of experience. This is okay. Learn new skills and figure out how to talk to others and how to understand people.

Age doesn’t mean you have a bunch of experience because some people focused on school and their career before they even started dating. Learn as you go on and let your dating be fun.


Make sure you are healed from your past before you move to your future. Go to therapy and talk to people about things you are facing.

Do not expect your wounds to be with you forever but heal them before you even start dating.

Look at Trends

Once you are in your 30’s, you will know that there are patterns in your life that you have gravitated towards. If the trend is good, stick with it but if it is a negative trend, get rid of it. This can mean that you are picking up relationships where people aren’t emotionally available for you or people that ghost you or cause you pain. Adjust until you are on the right path of dating.

Don’t Play Games

In your 30’s you will no longer want to play games. Find people that will want to date you and treat you kindly and the right way. Rejection is not as painful because you understand life more.

Know What You Want

Pay attention to what you want and get it. If you want to have children and get married, make sure you say that at the beginning. Don’t be pushy or weird on the first date but as you get serious with someone, talk about what you want.

It is important to be upfront right away when you are going to get serious with someone. This can avoid a bad situation later.

Money Personality

Make sure that you do not get into a financial mess when you start dating someone at this age. Your money personality is how much money and security you have. Some people relate dating and money together especially if they want to get serious with someone.

Attachment Styles

Know your attachment style so that you can understand how you act when you date someone. Pay attention to what you want and get rid of blockages that are holding you back. Find a healthy romantic attachment and don’t be afraid to know who you are.

Dating for Potential

Sometimes we date someone because we think that they will make a great partner someday. Stop doing this. Find someone that you can date that is ready for what you want. You cannot make someone change or fix someone to be who you want them to be.

Communication Skills

Work on being able to communicate with others. This can be harder when you get older but if you practice this then you will be able to date people that can communicate the same way as you do.

Be Honest and Open

Make sure that you are dating with an open mind. Be open about what you want and don’t miss out on someone just because you want something superficial.

Dating Apps

Even though you might get on a dating app here or there, make most of your dates in person. Go to social gatherings and find places to meet new people. Apps can be disappointing.

Gender Roles

Do not let gender rules or roles get you caught up in dating situations. Date people because you want to date and not because you are competing.

Dating Doesn’t Mean Marriage

Remember that just because you date someone and you are older, it doesn’t mean it will end in marriage. You need to find someone to marry you if that is what you are looking for but if you are dating for fun, don’t get disappointed if it doesn’t end in marriage.

You might want to get married and that may be your goal but allow things to work out the way that they are meant to.


Dating in your 30’s can be hard, but it can work out for you. Even if it is harder, learn to have fun and let things fall how they may.

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