Even if you’re a pro at dating and consistently succeed at getting a guy, it becomes a whole new ball game once the relationship starts. Then the question becomes, “How do I keep him?”
While the concept that you must “keep” another human being in love, happy, or interested sounds rather odd, women often ask themselves what a guy wants and needs from her once they’re in a relationship. Well, let’s debunk some common myths we’ve all heard about how women can keep a guy happy. Because honestly, most women have tried at least one of these, and still lost him!
Society has misled women to hold the belief that sex is required to keep a guy interested in them or, even worse, that it’s what will get him interested in them in the first place.
But that’s simply not true.
Men (and women!) certainly do desire sex, but it’s not what will compel a guy to commit to you. Sex is a fundamental desire that constantly distracts and engages men’s minds. And many men don’t think that a relationship is a prerequisite for them to quench their desire. For most men, physical connections can be made without emotional connections.
What that means for the woman who believes that she must go to bed with him to keep him is that she’s mistaken. The emotional connections are what make men want to commit in a relationship.
- Being Nice
Who doesn’t like being around nice people? Being nice helps others see what a kind and generous person you are. What kind of a guy wouldn’t like a nice woman?
Well, nice women get dumped, too.
Of course, guys want to be with women who make them feel cared for, safe, and happy. But that’s not what will keep him.
Men respond positively to women that have morals, personal boundaries, and a sense of personal identity. Men respect women who don’t necessarily tolerate things but instead demand to be treated with respect even if she doesn’t come across as “nice” at that moment.
There isn’t anything wrong with generally being nice to others, as long as it doesn’t come at the expense of being nice to yourself.
- Feeding Him
Research has proven that men are more attracted to women they think are nurturing. It gives them a sense of safety and frees them to make emotional connections. And cooking for a guy is a prime way to nurture him.
However, on its own, cooking will not keep a guy hooked. Especially nowadays with the availability of Home Chef, HelloFresh, and all the other easy-to-follow subscription meal kit delivery services at his disposal!
It doesn’t matter how delicious your chocolate cake is, not even if you use his grandma’s recipe. Cooking does not make you special. It’s a bonus because what makes you special is you. You’re the cake. Everything else is the icing.
- Transforming Yourself
We all know how it feels to start falling in love. You want to make sure you’re appealing. So you dress in flattering outfits, you take the time to style your hair, and you discuss topics you think are engaging and interesting.
In other words, you change yourself into the best version of you so you can attract your love interest. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Right?
You’re changing your appearance, behavior, and your interests in the benefit of someone else.
Turning into the woman you think he wants to be with will make you less of the person you genuinely are. And that will not help you hang on to him. He’ll soon sense that you’re not being your true self, and that will disrupt your connection. Men want to be their true selves with the women they’re with. The only they can do that is women are being their authentic selves, too.
If either of you isn’t free to be authentic and vulnerable with the other, your relationship will not mature and grow, and he’ll soon lose interest.
- A Baby
Many women still harbor the common misconception that adding a baby to the relationship is what will compel a man to commit to her. And that’s unfortunate.
Having a baby will certainly connect you to each other for the rest of your lives. But his connection to his child certainly doesn’t automatically guarantee that he’ll have or develop romantic feelings for you.
One thing that is guaranteed is that having a baby stresses a relationship. And if a relationship doesn’t already have a strong foundation, it will not be able to stand up to the test. No matter how much he loves his son or daughter, a baby is not a bargaining chip when it comes to his long-term relationship with you.
So, if you’re considering trying to trap a man by having his baby, he doesn’t really want to be with you in the first place. If a man doesn’t want to commit, there’s nothing you could do to force him to. You can’t make him love you. You can’t buy his love or trick him into loving you.
Love is a decision a man needs to make on his own. The best way to attract love is by loving yourself first and by living your most authentic life.
You don’t need a man to make you worthy of being loved.