People struggle after heartbreak, and so its reasonable to wonder if you should give up on love. This is not just only romantic love, as losing a friend can be just as painful as losing a lover.
Here are ten of the biggest reasons people choose to avoid love and why each occur:
- Need for instant satisfaction: Today’s society demands we have everything we want NOW. Unfortunately, that sets us up for failure when it comes to love, which is complex and requires both patience and hard work. We must avoid thinking that love will suddenly find us and fulfill us. Instead, be willing to accept all of love’s ups and downs.
- Being too closed off: Emotions are not a weakness. When you hide your feelings, you avoid letting a person see the total package that makes you, No one wants to be in a relationship with an illusion. Instead, when you show your thoughts and feelings you are able to go on a wonderful adventure together.
- Fear of commitment: People often run from commitment because they worry something else better may come along. However, constantly looking for better means you won’t appreciate good things when they find you. Instead of seeking something new, learn to live in and enjoy the present moment. Maybe then you’ll see you have the best.
- Overly focused on yourself: When we fail to take in the experience of others, we fail to consider how our needs impact theirs. Relationships are all about healthy balance.
- Not being serious enough: It’s good to have fun, but there comes a time when you have to adult. Balance going out to clubs or parties, with the hard work needed to make love last. If you focus on going to the superficial places, you’ll end up meeting superficial people. If you want serious love, consider mixing up where you spend your free time.
- Rigid thinking: Step back from focusing on what your ideal partner looks like. When you focus on perfection, you will always be chasing an illusion. Use your wish list as a guide, but then be willing to be flexible. When you learn to compromise you open yourself up for growth both as an individual as in relationships.
- Focusing on fairy-tales: Prince Charming doesn’t exist! Life isn’t a fable so stop expecting your Hollywood story. When you search for a prince, you will avoid following a winding path that can you can blaze on your own terms. Allow yourself the adventure.
- Perfection mindset: You noticing a trend yet? Perfection doesn’t exist so why force it. Love is messy, but wonderous. Even mistakes are wonderful learning opportunities! Look at them as gifts of growth. Shift your mindset to working for excellence, that way you can always be moving forward, but together, with your partner.
- Overly focused on goals: Ditch the benchmarks as they may only be setting yourself up for failure. When you miss achieving your goal you leave the door open for gremlins to enter your mind. Never shelves your quest for love for that perfect time in your life. This will only block you from finding wonderful people to share your life with. Instead allow you heart to stay open and trust that love will find you when it’s right for you both.
- Love is messy: Love is complex and unpredictable. It changes in unexpected, but wonderous ways. Try to accept the fluxes no matter how scary they seem. Stop trying to control the process and instead adopt a mindset that you are content being on a journey.