Is it Your Lover or Best Friend?
Relationship Help

Is it Your Lover or Best Friend?

Do you have a best friend and you wonder if this person should be with you as a lover? There are some signs that you can pay attention to so that you can din out if this person is your lover or if they really are just your best friend.

What They Say

Pay attention to what your friend is saying to you. Do they seem to be romantic towards you? If you are close, just ask them what their intentions are so that you have a true answer.

One thing you can say is, “What do you feel like I am to you?” Even though this sounds like a corny pickup line, if they choose to not give you an answer, chances are that they are not sure what they want either in the relationship.

If they want to be with you for more than friendship, opening up the conversation with this line can allow them to make a decision or tell you how they feel. They will show you through words or body language. If they seem upset or uncomfortable, they probably just want to be friends.


Look at the words and emotions that they are showing you. If they want to know everything about you and to know your secrets, chances are they want to be more than just friends.

Tell them you love them and see how they react. If you feel that you are planning your future and they are always part of it, chances are that you and they want more. Do they raise or lower their voice when they are talking to you? Pay attention to their actions and words.

If your friend has hinted that he wants to be just friends, accept that is what he wants and let the conversation go.

Friend and Lover

Some people want to be both friends and lovers. When you meet a good friend, they can become the best lovers and partners that you could ask for. You should be good friends before you become lovers.

Maybe you are not even sure why you want to know the answer, but it is something that everyone gets to the point in their life. You want to know what category that you and your friend fit in and if you should be looking beyond them to find a partner.

Body Language

Are they staring into your eyes? You can read a person and how they feel by their body language. If they are only looking at you, chances are they want to be more but if they are looking way and won’t make eye contact with you, they probably want to stay friends.

Each person has a different personality and it is important to know that someone that is shy might not show the same signs as someone that is outgoing. If they are shy and like you, you might not be able to tell by their body language.

Someone who is your friend will not feel the same way about you as someone that wants more. If a person is wanting more, they will have a hard time taking their eyes off of you.

Have a conversation with them and look them in the eyes. If they look away or look somewhere else when they talk to you, they probably want to just stay friends.

Look at their eyes when you talk to them and get closer to them. If they move away, they are not interested in that intimacy.


How does this person touch you? People that want to be lovers will touch your more than someone that wants to be friends.

Do they hug you or just tap you? Do they want to embrace you in a hug or play with your hair? Someone that is touching you in a romantic way will show that they care about you by taking up your personal space.

A friend will just sit with you and talk to you, but a lover will be closer and flirt.

Closed or Open

Do they have their feet pointing at you and keep a small amount of space between you and them? Are their arms folded or crossed? Having open hands shows open body language.

If someone has their feet pointing away from you or they fold their hands or arms, they are closed off.


Pay attention to how much contact you have with this person. Do they call or text you a lot? Do you keep up a conversation with each other? If you do, they might like you for more than friends.

If they do not try to spend time with you or want to be around you outside of the normal hangout, chances are they do not like you in that way.

Other People

Notice how this person acts when you are in a group. Do they treat you kindly and accept you no matter who they are with? Do they try to impress you or get nicer to you?

If you are crushing after a girl, pay attention to if she blushes, twirls her hair, or bites her lips. This can mean they are flirting and wanting to be closer to you. Guys will laugh more or try to impress you.

Circle of Friends

Do you see this person often during the week? Have you met his friends and family? Have the people that he hangs out with heard all about you? Does he take pictures of the two of you and act interested in what you do and say?

Can you ignore this person when they text you or are, they the first person that you think of in the morning? A lover will put you first and will want to spend time with you and give you their attention.


Do you have sex with this person? That is the biggest sign that you went from friend to lover. Lovers want to be with you and to be intimate. They want to have sex with you, and they want to have a chemistry with you.

Adding sex to the relationship does not mean that you will be together as more than lovers, but it is a start.


Does your friend seem to get jealous when you are talking to someone else? Do they act rude to your new friend or to someone new in your life? Friends do not get jealous and if they are always seeming jealous of you talking to other people then they might like you.

If they get annoyed when you look at other guys or girls or find someone else attractive, they probably want to be your lover.


Does this person want to spend alone time with you, or do they only talk to you in big groups? A friend will never act flustered around you and they will not chase after you or act like they want to be around you.

If someone has a mood change when you come around or if they get happier when you are around, they like spending time with you.

Do you get butterflies when you think of them or see them? Do you find yourself daydreaming about this person?

Getting to Know You

True love is about making sacrifices, and this should never end. When things are hard for you, that person should be there to help you. A lover will sacrifice their day or their money for you. They will give you their time.

A lover will know about you and will never stay mad at you even when you fight. They will look past your flaws and not hold things against you.

Someone that wants to be your lover will care for you and bring you your favorite things. They will want to travel with you and be there for you.


How does this person talk to you? Do you keep their attention when you are in the room? Do they just say hi and go about their business or does it become more about you?

If you are friends with someone and you want to be more, pay attention to how they are acting. Or maybe they like you and you just want to be friends.

Whatever the circumstance is, chances are these tips will show you if you have a friend or a lover at your hands.

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