Shouldn’t Wait for Reciprocal Love
Relationship Help

Reasons Why Should or Shouldn’t Wait for Reciprocal Love

There are many views on whether you should or should not wait for someone you love to return your affection.  It is important you always maintain self-respect and stay true to your values.  It is vastly different to wait for a person who cares about you to be ready to explore love, than it for someone who is indifferent to your feelings.  Below we have compile reasons for both why you should wait, and reasons why you should move.  Read these tips and see which points resonate.

Benefits of waiting for love

  1. They are acting thoughtfully: New love must be handled gently. This is especially true when one partner is hesitant to commitment due to issues beyond their control.  Waiting for your love allows you to see their true character, mindset, and view on commitment.  Someone making a sincere effort to improve their life and inquires as to how it impacts others, signifies mindfulness.  They are capable on navigating difficult conversations and desire long-term connections.  This can also apply to you too.  Your crush might be looking to see how you are supporting them during this tough time.
  2. Ability to communicate their thoughts and intentions: Love doesn’t always come at the best time in people’s lives.  They may be processing a break-up or conflicting emotions.  Notice how you both communicate with each other.  If they are willing to share their inner world with you, this is a great sign to wait for them.  They care about how you feel and don’t want to end up hurting you.  They respect you too much to see you as a rebound or FWB.  They are giving you the control to set the pace or wait.
  3. You are seeking your ideal mate: You are clear about what you are looking for in a partner.  To understand the full benefit of waiting consider a few additional points.
    • Your knowledge of yourself and the type of partner you feel most drawn towards. Go beyond “I’ll know it when I find it” to having set relationships goals
    • What makes a relationship healthy and special to you? Love works when both partners put in appropriate time and effort.  You could bump into Prince Charming today, but you’ll break up if only one of you is putting in the work.
    • Know the qualities you desire in your lover. This ensures you won’t waste anyone’s time or emotions.  Be careful that you aren’t too rigid with your wish list or you might miss out on meeting someone amazing for you.
  4. Willingness to meet other people: Never get so focused on a single person that you fail to date others.  This makes sure that you remain open to discovering an unexpected, but wonderful romance while you wait for your crush.  This can teach you more about yourself, what you want in a partner, and how to foster a healthy relationship.
  5. Let a lover come to you: You may be in a relationship with a great person, but they aren’t showing signs of committing to you.  You deserve to be with someone who expresses their love for your freely both in actions and words.  People who don’t have affection for you won’t be willing to put in the work and effort.

What is an appropriate timeframe to wait?

There is no clear-cut answer due to an array of factors.  People have varying degrees of capacity to love.  People may be leery to put themselves out there following being hurt in past romances.  Someone may appear to be interested in you, but it could be more due to a fear of loneliness rather than sincere affection.  Others can be prone to playing games out of boredom or a desire to be chased.  May people will wait to make a move until they are completely certain of their feelings.  Ultimately, true love is able to conquer most concerns including a longing for shared experiences or a need for time.  On the other hand, if you and you partner have been through a lot and you each have seen each at your best and worst, but still don’t express love, there is very real chance you never will enjoy a healthy committed bond.

5 reasons you should move on

  1. They won’t end their current (unhealthy) relationship: You can’t predict love, and at times we fall for people who are currently involved with someone else.  You may be wondering if it is worth waiting for them to leave in order for them to be with you.  This is a risk desire.  One can never fully understand a relationship dynamic from the outside.  If you wait, you run the risk of missing out on a caring, available people who might be a better romantic fit for you and your relationship goals.
  2. You are the third wheel: Similar to the previous point, in this scenario your crush is cultivating emotional and physical ties with multiple people.  Consider that they might be leading you on as an insurance policy is another relationship ends.  Realize if they can do this now, they will do this to you again in the future.
  3. You aren’t their type: You crush may have just broken up with their ex, and you want to wait for them to process their grief before you pursue them. It is important to remember that it can take longer for people to recover from certain breakups than others.  This ex may have been the love of their life and if you go after them, you risk just being a rebound.  By waiting you risk this person never seeing you as a romantic equal, and merely a way to get back at their ex.
  4. They aren’t ready for a relationship: People may overlook it when a person tells them they aren’t ready for a relationship (with them).  It’s human nature to feel like you could be capable of changing their mind.  In fact, this is a polite way of rejecting you, without risking causing you pain.  If you hear this from your crush, their mind is made up and you should move on to someone who is willing and able to love you like you deserve.
  5. There relationship is on a break: At times couple may need to put their relationship on pause.  They aren’t broken-up, but there is space for them to explore other potential partners or interests.  These hiatuses occur because the couple must work through emotional baggage in order to grow as a couple, but this work seems too daunting at the time.  Essentially, the break is an escape from a painful reality.  At times breaks provide healthy space for both parties to reevaluate the needs and concerns on their union and they are then able to reconvene with a clear mindset and stronger resolve to make their love successful.  Both partners grow as individuals and learn more about how to handle the relationship issues going forward.  A major issue with breaks is that they aren’t always mutually agreed upon and the other partner is fully vested in making things work.  Ultimately, look at any break as a precursor to a breakup and something your crush will need ample time to process and implement the valuable lessons.

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