On Again, Off Again: Is It Worth It?
Relationship Help

On Again, Off Again: Is It Worth It?

Many relationships today struggle to make it past three years, though numerous couples break up and get back together during that time. If you and your partner find yourself splitting up and then coming back together, then this article can help. Though it seems romantic to continually find your way back to the same person, it is far from healthy. If you are questioning whether this break up should be the final one, read on.

Same Problems, Different Day

Unless you can get to the bottom of why you and your partner are so on again, off again, then you are doomed to repeat the cycle. Sit down and think about the underlying issues in the relationship or a resolution will never be found. Dissect the problems and resolve them to keep the relationship alive or move on.

Too often, couples break up and make up, forgetting why they separated in the first place, but never really resolving the issues. The relationship may temporarily get back on track, but a wreck will happen again in the future.

Don’t Expect Change

Though the old saying ‘doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results is insanity’ did not come from Einstein, it is still highly accurate. When it comes to on again, off again relationships, you should pay close attention to saying it.

You should not expect your partner to be the one to change because you are prompting the same behaviors if you too are behaving the same. When someone shows you who they are, you should believe they are telling you the truth. It may be time to make a change for yourself and leave.

Uncertain Future

With uncertain relationships, you cannot plan a future. This means no big joint purchases, no trip planning, nothing because the future is unclear. Commitment is important to a happy relationship and this type of relationship is as far from commitment as possible. This should be considered.

Stunting Personal Growth Purposely

Though break-ups are bad, we often learn from them and grow personally from the experience. We learn to make better choices and evolve personally. However, if you keep going back to the same situation, you stunt your own growth over and over again.


These relationships, that come and go, then come again, are stressful. Granted, there are times of intense passion, but once it’s over, the negative emotions flood back in and another break-up occurs. This is an insane amount of drama that no one needs in life. In fact, the stress can affect you mentally, physically, and even emotionally. Save yourself the stress by finding someone who is in it for the long haul or alone so you can do some work on yourself.

Friends are Over It

With the first break-up, friends and family will likely be supportive, but with each successive break-up they will lose that sympathy. They may offer advice, but if you are unwilling to hear it, then they will stop listening to the same old story.

Can’t Let Go

If you simply expect to get back together, your emotional investment will remain. You will probably obsess over them until you are back together or you learn to let go. Do not waste heart space on someone who cannot commit. Allow each other to move on and free yourself to let go.

Be Happy

Relationships that are on again, off again are more trouble than they are worth. On top of that, they never last. To have a happy relationship that is actually healthy, you need to communicate with your partner and expect the same. Make sure to appreciate one another and problem solve respectfully. This will create a relationship that stands the test of time.

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