When we think of falling in love, we often have several boxes that need checked to know it’s true. Perhaps we are lucky enough to meet someone who that checks all those boxes, except there is no physical attraction to the person. Most times, we immediately slam on the brakes and shy away from the relationship. The problem is, this may be a missed opportunity that leaves us wondering, “What if…”. While nothing in life is purely rational or purely emotional, there are some things that make us prefer one type of person over another. Knowing these may help us make a better decision about love.
Attraction
Though it is not something we can consciously control, women tend to be most attracted to men who are fit an would create healthy, strong offspring. This goes deep into our DNA as a past form of survival and cannot be wished away.
Paired with this is oddly, body odor. The natural scent our bodies make can be detected by the opposite gender, though they may not realize it, an plays a role in attraction. While odorless to ourselves, some others may find it appealing.
Attraction is further affected by families and teaching as we are raised. For females, the male role models in life shape later opinions without us even realizing it.
Women also often want different men on different days of the menstrual cycle. The attraction to rugged type men is stronger during ovulation. While on other days, a softer, caring type of male is preferred.
While all of this seems to point to a need for physical attraction for success in a relationship, it is not totally necessary.
Deceiving Physical Attraction
We have all had this happen or know someone who has, you fall in love with a beautiful man only to find he is a total jerk. When his personality comes out, that attraction seems to disappear and you want him to as well. This shows that physical attraction is just one aspect of love, there is much more needed. Since who we find attractive is somewhat genetic, but is also affected by upbringing, we can learn to be attracted to something new. Below shares how.
Evaluate
Perhaps you have already met someone and you like him, but the sexual attraction is not present. We may worry it is more friendship than a relationship, but the truth is they are not all that different. Ideally, a long term partner will also be your best friend so friend requirements are important. If there is a slight attraction, you can build on it by looking for things that make them more attractive and working on how you perceive them. However, a slight attraction is necessary for this to work.
Don’t Force Yourself
Never force yourself to feel something that is not there as it will have the opposite effect. In most cases, physical attraction can grow, but give it time to do so.
Grow Yourself
Give it time so you can develop a connect to someone that goes beyond the physical. Spend time with the potential candidate, building good memories and experiences. This can help attraction and love develop.
Change Your Mindset
The more time spent together, the more feelings will develop. The harder we work at something, the more we can accomplish and if we want to love someone, we can convince ourselves we do. Use the power of positivity to list the things that are wonderful about this new person and focus on these things as you are together an apart. Connections will build and so will your list.
This may not happen in every situation, but we have more power than we think when it comes to attraction. Some things are genetic, but others can be learned. Turn your love life around by giving someone new a chance, even if physical attraction is not there at first.
